Day 16

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you guys… you guys… today was so much better than yesterday… and i know why - thank all that’s holy.

i started to talk about it, just a bit, on my post earlier today, but i also said i’d say more here now.

so.

yesterday was so bad… so hard in some ways that i just didn’t know what to do with myself. the only thing i knew to do was to sit.

i remembered the day that my mother passed, and how i felt a stillness in my office, a silence. but not just that. not just silence, or stillness. something with depth… with presence. something i was able to sink into. for obvious reasons, i think, i didn’t on that day… not for any length of time.

but i did remember that feeling.

then last night, when there was nothing else to do, i sat in that silence.

i went into my office, the place i feel it the most strongly right now, and i sat there. I used my Inner Balance because i wanted to see whether there was any correlation between sinking into the silence and being in coherence. (turns out, there very much was #noted).

i sat there for an hour, and it was as if it was only a few minutes.

and when i was done, i felt… well, i started to say i felt normal again but that’s not true. i felt far better than normal. i felt full up. and i might be a slow learner but even i caught on to that.

so.. this morning, i got up early and sat again, and again… 30 minutes flew by in the blink of an eye and again, i felt much better.

clearly, this is something that i need to prioritize for myself.

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and now for some gratitude…

i’m so grateful for that silence. for recognizing it. for feeling it. for sensing it would help. for actually taking the time to be in it. twice.

i’m grateful that the a/c was working all day and that there were no power outages. there was a heat advisory today & it would’ve been miserable

i’m grateful that we’re officially halfway through the week

i’m grateful that the book and the Aveda i ordered are both due to arrive tomorrow

i’m grateful for socks on my cold feet

i’m grateful for the excitement of vacation days to look forward to