Day 26

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first thing this morning… that dog woke me up to go potty and eat. i should be grateful that it wasn’t actually first thing… it was 6:30, she did let me sleep until then, which was good. we went outside together, she trotted off into the yard to check out her territory and do her business, while i plopped down in one of the plastic turquoise Adirondack chairs we’ve got on the patio.

didn’t take but a minute before i noticed that i could breathe out there today. even though the sun was already coming up over the horizon, it wasn’t yet so hot and humid that i felt like i was walking into a wall of water. it was a good start to the day, friend.

speaking of good start… i’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of taking full responsibility for one’s life. not sure i’ll really go into it all here, not in this post at least, but i’ve seen so many places where this is such a sensitive topic. we do not like being told that we’re responsible for the things that happen in our lives, do we?

but then i think about ho’oponopono, and about some of the things that Byron Katie teaches, and how Michelle changed her life when she decided to take 100% responsibility for it… and now things are literally better for her than ever before.

i dunno. i’d never tell someone that the cancer diagnosis is their fault. or that the loss of a loved one should somehow be blamed on them. it’s not about any of that. at all.

and…

i have to wonder how helpful it is when, as these things show up in our lives - which they will - we just carry on as if everything is status quo. do you know what i mean? what if, when these things show up in our lives, we decide to become more aware of our own choices. our own thought patterns. our own habitual ways of being.

and what if we decided to change something… (or many somethings). what then? what would happen?

obviously - my goodness i hope this is obvious to you - none of this is prescriptive. i am not trying to tell you what or how you should believe or behave. these are my thoughts and my somewhat wandering wonderings. please feel free to share yours below if you like… i wouldn’t mind a conversation around any of this as i sort it out in my own mind.

but for now…

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and now for some gratitude…

i’m grateful for the dew on blades of grass this morning, and that i noticed it, and that the more i looked for it the more i saw of it #lifelesson

i’m grateful for the cool breeze this morning and that it wasn’t suffocatingly hot even though the sun was already coming up by then

i’m super grateful for all of these gorgeous magazines i’ve been saving for ‘one day’ and how this week turned into that day

i’m grateful that those magazines are doing double duty; not only do i get to read through them and enjoy the articles and images, i also get to cut out the bits that really strike me and use them in future collages #doublewin

i’m grateful for the ease i feel right now in this very moment - i wish i could send a piece of it your way so that you can feel it too. i wish i could mix this feeling into a bottle with sparkles and take a pinch out to toss above both our heads when it was needed. i wish we could both call on it in any given moment (but maybe we can?)

i’m grateful for the inexpensive foot rest R ordered for me. the texture and colors of this thing… it makes my insides smile each time i see it or use it. it really is the simple things.

i’m grateful for the reminders on my phone that i’ve set up, and how they help me shift out of a crappy mental place - which is where the grooves seem to be set to for now. i’m also grateful for neuroplasticity and that those grooves can be changed, dammit.

happy Saturday, friend.