The Exhaustion That Sleep Doesn't Fix

I've been exhausted lately.

Not the kind that a good night's sleep fixes - though honestly, I haven't been getting those either. More like the kind that means something underneath is asking for attention and hasn't figured out how to get it yet.

My anxiety has been pretty rough this past week. The kind of anxiety where it doesn't have a clear object - nothing you can point to and say that's the thing - but your nervous system is absolutely convinced that something is wrong or something is coming. My brain has been kind of an asshole about it, if I'm being honest. (If you've been there, you know exactly what I mean.)

What I keep feeling called toward is pulling back. Less rushing. Less busy-ness. More actual stillness - the kind where you can sit and listen, both internally and externally. I keep moving in that direction, and it still doesn't feel like quite enough.

Which tells me the peeling-back needs to go deeper than my schedule.

I think what I'm really after is something more like getting down to the actual layers. The ones I've spent decades adding on - to my life, and to myself. The accumulated weight of all the things I decided I was, or wasn't. All the things I took on because it seemed like the right move at the time. All the ways I've shaped myself around other people's comfort without fully realizing I was doing it.

I'm a Taurus Sun. My power source is slowness. Groundedness. The physical, the sensory, the unhurried. And right now I'm not plugged into it, and I can feel the difference in my body, and in my whole being.

Here's the thing about this kind of work, though. It's not something you do once and check off the list. At least not in my own experience.

In fact, I've done it before - gone deep, followed the breadcrumbs, gotten genuinely clearer on what I wanted and who I was underneath all the accumulated noise. And it sincerely helped.

What’s also true is that life keeps moving. Things shift. Seasons change. And sometimes you come back around - months later, or a few years later - and find that the layers have quietly piled back on, or that what was true then isn't the whole picture anymore. Not because you did it wrong the first time. Just because you're still alive and still changing, and that means the work gets revisited.

That's where I am right now. Not starting from scratch. But checking in with myself again. Going back to the questions because the questions are worth returning to.

This is why I made Discover What Your Soul Really Wants.

Not because I had it all figured out and wanted to pass the wisdom on. But because I needed a way to track my own breadcrumbs. To read the map my soul had already been drawing for me while I was busy looking elsewhere.

What the workbook actually does

Discover What Your Soul Really Wants is a diagnostic tool. It's not a quiz that puts you in a category. It's not a goal-setting exercise. It doesn't ask you to generate a vision board or decide on your five-year plan.

What it does is guide you toward tracking the breadcrumbs.

It asks about what has pulled your attention since childhood. What moves you emotionally in ways you can't fully explain. When you feel most like yourself versus when you feel like you're playing a role. What kinds of beauty stop you mid-step. What injustices make something in you burn.

Your soul has been leaving a trail. This workbook helps you read it.

The questions are simple. They're not easy - there's a difference. But they're the kind of questions that, once you sit with them honestly, start to show you a pattern you've been living inside without quite seeing.

I expect that if you do this work with me, you won’t find anything new. I suspect you’ll find what was always there, waiting to be looked at directly.

I'll also say this: work like this is genuinely easy to put off. The sock drawer starts looking very interesting right around the time you're supposed to sit down with a question like what have I been waiting for? (Or maybe that's just me.) It's not that the questions are scary exactly - it's that they're weighty, and we're busy, and the sock drawer is right there.

Which is part of why I'm offering live co-working sessions alongside the workbook for now. Not to teach. Just to sit together while we do it. There's something about knowing other people are showing up on the same afternoon, working through the same questions in their own lives, that makes the pulling-back-from-the-sock-drawer a little easier to actually do. The work is still personal. Still internal. Still yours entirely. But you're not alone in the room while you do it.

The impact of this kind of work tends to reverberate long after the session ends. Long after the sock drawer gets messy again.

The live call

The workbook is available now at rootedmystic.com/discover-soul-wants for $22. That includes access to a live co-working session on Sunday, June 28th - a two-hour Zoom where we work through it together.

If you're reading this before June 28th, 2026: come join us.

If you're finding this after: the workbook is still here and still worth your time. Live rounds happen up to twice a year - the next will likely be in early 2027. Grab the workbook, work through it at your own pace, and sign up for Field Notes from the Apothecary at rootedmystic.com/newsletter to hear when the next live date is set.

Either way - the questions are worth asking. Whenever you're ready.