own it

pssst - i’ve created a free desktop background for you along the theme of this blog post. you can find it over on my Patreon page. just go there to download. no sign up needed! if you feel pulled, you can also join my Patreon page starting at only $2 / month! head on over, grab the free gift, and check out what’s included with membership!

noun_Map_731090.png

i was watching a documentary recently, and my attention kept being drawn to one of the people in particular. she had so much self-confidence, you guys. she was well-spoken, and carried herself as if she just really was entirely ok with herself… and not only that, she kind of really dug herself too.

i kind of love that. a lot.

i kept watching her, because she’s not what our society would necessarily deem beautiful, per se. but she didn’t seem to realize (or care), you know?

i mean, how magnetic is that? she just owns all of who she is, and you can tell. it draws you in.

i went to high school with a girl who was like that, even then. she didn’t really have any friends that i could tell, but she carried herself as if her self-esteem was so high that it didn’t matter. (i feel like a chicken-shit now for not befriending her… i really wish i had gotten to know her, but i didn’t try.)

so i’m thinking about this whole idea of really owning it, you know? owning all of who i am, and rocking it.

and then i talked with a soul sister last night for almost two hours… we’d not talked in a while so it was really great to connect, but do you know what struck me most about our conversation?

we often have what we call ‘our bridge’ on these connection calls. it’s where there seems to be an underlying theme that we’re both experiencing lately, and though it may show up in different ways externally, the root of it is always the same. always. we’ve been talking like this for over 8 years now (maybe 9?) and it’s always been this way for us.

our bridge last evening? Owning It.

*mic drop*

no, wait wait… i have more to say, actually :-)

so this is yet another example of playing with Life (and Life playing back).

I LOVE THIS STUFF!!

i have been asking for certain, specific, changes in my life and getting a ttttoouuuccchhhh frustrated that they weren’t happening on my timeline ;-)

then this all comes up and i realize - “OH… you mean i have to own who i am and step into my flow to be who i’m meant to be in life… in order for the needed changes to come into being?!? well why didn’t you just say so?!?!” ;-)

(and then i imagine Life doing a head -> table pose.. like “ugh, she is so hard-headed sometimes!” ;-) )

but it’s all good. i see it now.

so i created a desktop background for my computer this morning, and i’ve shared it with you if you’d like it (it’s right here - no sign up required!) .

let’s experiment with remembering to OWN IT. want to?

tell me about a time when you did own it, and what you noticed? i’d so dig hearing your story!

 

oh - one more thing before you go!

i was invited to join the Rebel Crones Rising Community Project that Tracie Nichols is putting together for September. of COURSE i said yes (not only because i so dig Tracie, but because this discussion is long overdue!) and i’d really love if you felt called to sign up (it’s free!) and add your voice to the conversation. it begins on September 1st, and Tracie is also hosting a free facebook group to discuss during the month. won’t you come along for the ride???

<3

me

self talk and the other shoe

self talk and the other shoe

did you ever read that book Nineteen Eighty Four, by George Orwell? (there’s a serious spoiler, giving away the end, in this blog post… so if you haven’t read it but would like to… you may want to consider saving this post for another time ;-))

we’ll circle back to that in a minute, but i want to tell you what brought this up for me first.

this morning, Lexi and i were having our morning walk. my alarm had gone off at 5:00, like normal on a Tuesday morning, and instead of internally bitching and moaning that it was time to get up, i first got my bearings (what day is it? where am i - still on planet Earth? what’s going on? etc..) and then as soon as i realized “oh yes, it’s Tuesday” my very next thought was “thank you. thank you for the gift of another day and another opportunity”. i kid you not.

AEIG - Review

AEIG - Review

wow. wow. wow.

i kind of can’t believe now that this experiment is complete. at the start it seemed to stretch out for ages ahead of me, and now - POOF - we’re done!

i guess that’s true of much of life though, isn’t it?

so… what has changed in these 31 days? what have i learned?

here we go.

first - i learned that i can count on myself to do what i say i will do, dammit. this is SO HUGE for me. it’s never been all that much of a problem for me to do what i say i will do for others (at least not since my early 20’s :-) ). however, doing what i ‘commit’ to doing for myself… that’s been a whole other ball game.

Day 31

Day 31

i’m grateful for amazing music; especially the kind that takes you right back to a time that you otherwise can’t really remember. wild, huh?

i’m grateful for actually completing this experiment. i did not miss one single day. for me, that’s a true accomplishment. i often make excuses or otherwise kind of let myself off the hook with things when it gets hard. or, i have in the past. that seems to have been shifting lately. i love it and am super grateful for that.

i’m grateful for putting enough into this project to get so much out of it

i’m grateful for feeling hungry. this is another area where i’m suddenly sticking by what i say i want. i am doing intermittent fasting, and i do not ‘cheat’. before, i would’ve kind of allowed myself little “outs”.. i would’ve let myself eat after the feeding window had closed, and had any number of excuses. i don’t do that now… or haven’t been. it’s SO nice, this feeling of being able to count on myself.

and actually, now that i’ve said that, i’ve been doing the same with money and buying things. i’ve had several instances where something has tempted me, and before.. i’d just buy it, and figure out the details later. not lately. i have been deciding that it’s just not worth it. my why is bigger than my want lately. YAY

Day 30

Day 30

i cannot express how grateful i am for how today went as it did. so so so.

i’m grateful for still having energy at the end of the work day today

i’m grateful for the smell of chicken cooking in the crock pot this afternoon, and for having an easy dinner ready to rock within just a few minutes after work

i’m grateful for another good movie tonight

i’m grateful for more storms today. i really love them

that’s all for today, folks. my heart is full. i hope you’ve had a wonderful Wednesday.